Expert advice for not going crazy with the gifts of Santa Claus and the Three Wise Men

Christmas is inevitably associated with a tree decorated and loaded with gifts at its base. Probably, because it is what is seen in movies and in advertising, it is what children expect with the arrival of Santa Claus or the Three Wise Men. However, many parents are increasingly clear that the uncontrolled abuse of surprises and toys is far from what is assumed to be good parenting and even more so from what is considered responsible consumption.

Experts agree with that parental insight. Ghada Aboud, professor of Early Childhood and Primary Education at the European University and tutor at the University for Parents, Up!family, affirms that receiving many gifts can be counterproductive for the little one: "They can lose hope, creativity and imagination and even reduce your level of tolerance for frustration. We will also promote in them an exaggerated consumerism. Not by receiving a greater number of toys will they be happier”. Because "children lose the ability to focus on a single gift and fully enjoy it, causing the emotion to disperse until it disappears when they receive a large number of gifts." Indeed, it is common for them to find themselves with too many gifts at once, causing confusion and difficulty in choosing one with which to have a good time.

The rule of the four gifts

To educate in values ​​such as responsible consumerism also at Christmas, at the Parents University they propose to follow the rule of the four gifts. The first, that it serves to be able to wear (shoes, clothes, accessories...); the second would be a book (“one of the best gifts we can offer you”) on a topic that interests you, from dinosaurs to your favorite sport; the third gift would be what the child wants most excitedly; and the fourth, something you need, for example the equipment of the sport you practice, the material for crafts that you like, etc. These four gifts must be the total of those they receive, including grandparents and uncles. Getting the other members of the family to participate in this rule will not be an easy task, but it is worth trying by making them aware that it is important for their upbringing.

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Aboud affirms that in this way, "our sons and daughters will be able to value each of the gifts, we will be helping them in values ​​such as responsible consumerism, making them reflect on whether what they are asking of us is really necessary." Because the Up!Family tutor knows that filling the tree with gifts is often an imposition that we parents make to ourselves: “Children often end up asking for the sake of asking and, probably, one of those gifts will be opened that day and cornered for the rest of the year.” For this reason, Paloma Díez, director of Psychology Europe and an expert psychologist in children and adolescents, considers that it is a good idea, if they have extra gifts, "save them and distribute them throughout the year." And, the following Christmas, clean up so that the kings take the toys that they no longer use to other children so that they can take advantage of them.

Clash of the Titans

Let's be honest, fighting against consumerist elements on these dates is the opposite of simple, but, as Aboud says, “they are very important values ​​that we must instill in the family and be, as fathers and mothers, their example to continue teaching them the value that things have. In this sense, the child and adolescent psychologist affirms that it is interesting that "gifts are associated with some effort they have made", however small it may be and according to their age. "Let's not forget that the Kings come if you are good," he recalls.

Aside from the rule of four gifts, it's okay to keep in mind that the best gift is time. Paloma Díez: "What children value most is receiving attention from their parents, so giving away games that we can share with them is also a good idea." Aboud adds: “Although sometimes we believe that true happiness lies in what we want to buy, if we realize it, we are much happier when we make family plans spending time with those we love. It is the best way that we fathers and mothers have of transmitting love to our sons and daughters and knowing how to educate them from a young age in responsible consumption, teaching them to grow as citizens in the society in which they live, knowing that today they have many more things than what they really need. To spend quality time in their company, Santa Claus or the Kings can bring tickets for the cinema or a show, or, for those who do not want to spend a lot, a day in the country.

Grab a catalogue, pencil and paper

Writing the letter for the Kings is not a minor job. It is necessary to be clear about what the child is so excited about so that it is the only gift from her. “It's good to get a catalog, but before you start, explain the number of gifts you can choose to also work on the issue of expectations and frustration. Once you select it, it is convenient to prepare the letter with them and thus know what it is that they finally ask for, ”says the tutor from the Parents University. And if what they want so much is not within reach of our pocket, lovingly explain to them that there are many children in the world to distribute toys to and there must be enough for everyone. However, above all, “we should not feel guilty about it. Sometimes it is the adult who gives the most importance to this issue”, concludes Aboud.

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