This is what nobody tells you about sex after 50
Read too
A cruel thing I said when I was a child made me a couple for years.This is what I would like to know then.
A few weeks ago, my friends and I went to see the show out of Broadway «Is there still sex in the city?« Written and made by Candace Bushnell herself.Years ago, as single girls in the city (a B’way dancer, a rockette, a model and an art marker) we form our own group of girls "Sex and the City".
Now, in our 50 and 60, the cosmos flowing, we were excited to hear all the juicy details, specifically about the "still sex" part.But instead, it was overlooked completely, except for a couple of disposable lines.Then, I don't joke, she took her dogs to the stage, as if saying: forget about sex after 50, maybe you buy a dog in her place?
After the program, all the girls and I could talk about the only thing Bushnell did not do: how sex looks after menopause.If the queen of the genre does not talk about it, is there any hope that "and so", the new restart of "Sex and the City"?
And that is precisely what women of my age are desperate to see speaking in a program.
As a 60 -year -old woman, I can assure you, our sex life does not end at 50, and television desperately needs to start reflecting that.Why noBody tells women what is about to happen and how comprehensive it is?
The only thing I knew about menopause was a flicker.And I thought: “So you get hot from time to time.What a thing.»Cut to: I 54, recently divorced, on a first date with a beautiful and funny boy.Any person older than 50 knows that it is a rarity in itself.
Anyway, it's January, I'm using a high -neck sweater, and just when I take my first sip of a dirty martini, a great wave of anxiety invades me.«Nervousism in the first date?I think while Hurgo carefree in my bag, hoping to find a loose xanax somewhere in a fabric fold.But then, I begin to feel this sharp feeling to tear my scalp.Oh, oh, ohhh ... duh, I'm having a suffocation.
I'm partially relieved, but now I'm sweating.So much so, I want to tear off my clothes.I run to the bathroom to find that my hair has become lazy, my makeup has run and I have giant red spots all over my face.I try to repair the damage, but I am like a wet cat meme while I return to our table.Buzzkill no.1.
I wish someone would have told me about the emotional changes of a suffocation.They are actually like 60 -second nervous breakdates in a row of a steam bath.Like those few days before his period arrives, where he feels absolutely crazy and everything in his life is completely bad and then his period comes and says, «Oh, that is that it was that.Duh.»Imagine a version of the size of a bite 20 to 30 times a day.And night!
Because that's another fun Buzzkill - light nsudores.Plan to stay in your place, because it is not fun to wake up in the middle of the night in a puddle of his own sweat, worried that he is ruining his 600 -wire Egyptian cotton sheets (okay, I can dream, can't I?).And forget about spooning, unless your boy likes to curl up in a damp oven.(I'm sure they are out there, ladies, but I'm wandering).And that is, of course, if they can sleep at all.
Buzzkill no.3: Sleep.Okay, I've never slept very well, especially with a new man in my bed.But now?It's frankly mine.So another reason to be in your place is to get up, go to another room and organize a garbage drawer or a parchment of the final judgment day to the content of his heart.
But I'm jumping perhaps the most shocking symptom of menopause.I wasn't prepared for how much sex would hurt at 50!Thinking that there is something wrong about me, I ran towards my gynecologist, who explained that my vaginal walls were thinning and something about blood flow and estrogen, and then the word "atrophy" arose and I practically fainted myself.Wtf?
"There is medication," she said.Premarin, for example, an estrogen substitution drug made from horse urine.(Seriously, the name comes from "urine of pregnant seas").
Well, that was a great whin.It went through my head that this could be a money trap, considering the location and how the office was seen as a high -end spa with products location everywhere.And of course, they did not take any insurance.But well, I had the mission of saving my female parts!Could you really put a price on that?
I sat in front of DR.G, a lovely woman who consciously smiled.«We are nothing more than chemicals«.He said while I gave my free copy of Suzanne's book "Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidéntic Hormones.«There were many tests (cha-ching!) But soon I went out with a recipe to be sent to a pharmacy of compounds in New Jersey. Tengo alrededor de $1,800, pero la terapia de reemplazo de hormonas bioidénticas fue, para mí, una bendición.
I had never had any sexual dysfunction, but after menopause, no amount of lubricant would help.But with the TH my Body was doing the thing again.Of course, it is different for all and it can be complicated to achieve adequate balance.(One of my friends told me that her recipe was "overwhelmed" and experienced, well ... slip ‘n slide, someone?)
Anyway, my hot flashes calmed down, night sweats too, and helped prevent osteoporosis.But the best part, I returned to 90% myself in the bedroom.Not only sex was less painful, but I also recovered my mojo!
Too good to be true, right?Correct.I found another gynecologist because the prices in that place of integration were very high and the additional sale of each possible anti -aging treatment was through the clouds.(Once, on a tour of the facilities, they took me to the "Infusion Room", where some 20 middle -aged women were sitting in luxurious white leather chairs, connected to several nutrients of nutrients intravenously).
Once you arrive at menopause, it is a game of physical ailments with an overwhelming amount of symptoms.Therefore, it is better to believe that there is an entire industry that seeks to take advantage of women who are desperate to maintain their "interior" youth.Looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow and your jade egg.
But I always knew, at some point, the risks of the TH would begin despite more than the benefits.When everything became too scary (and too expensive), I just let it go.
Now the words of DR.G, "We are nothing more than chemicals," acquires a completely new meaning. Me sorprende que hay dos momentos en la vida de una mujer en los que los productos químicos, específicamente el estrógeno, causan estragos en su cuerpo: cuando tiene15 y cuando tiene 50.And that chaos can lead to relationships based on "chemistry" and not much more.All that sexual dance can be such a distraction, in fact, that it is not surprising that women are delighted to have ended with him.
I could not agree with this exchange of season 2 of «Fleabag."When Phoebe Waller-Bridge, 33, says he has heard that menopause is terrible, Kristin Scott Thomas, 58, jokes:" It's horrible, but then it's magnificent ".
That is magnificent to be released from that particular hormonal pull.I feel freer than ever since I stopped pursuing estrogen.I am finally becoming who should be.I'm also happily married.I met my now husband when I was 62 years old, and we have absolute chemistry, but we also have much more.
It is possible that Candace Bushnell is not willing to talk about sex after 50, and we will have to see if "and so" ever addresses the subject.Meanwhile, I'll start.We need to talk about sex, we have to share our stories, and then we need to see those stories reflected in us.Because we are beautiful and vital and sexy, Waaay beyond the expiration dates imposed by us for popular culture.
And for you, beauties that approach the limit, I am here to tell you that sex after 50 (and more) can be fabulous.Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Do you have a convincing personal story that you would like to see published?In the HuffPost?Discover what we are looking for here and send us a release.
(Function () {'use strict'; Document.Addeventlistener ('Domcontentloaded', Function () {Document.Body.Addeventlistener ('click', function (event) {fbq ('track', "click");});});}) ();